Hero's Code

Break through

Have you noticed that the line between a successful person and an unsuccessful person is often just wafer thin. People who are unsuccessful are not necessarily irresponsible, lazy or lacking in character.  Many are enthusiastic, hardworking and sincere and they appear to be very much like those who achieve remarkable things. So what's going on?

One difference is simply the degeee of perseverance and tenacity a successful person is willing to apply.  When unsuccessful people hit a "brick wall" that stops them from reaching their goal they use commonsense.  They make an effort but have the sense to recognise their limitations and back away from that wall.

Successful people are unreasonable.  Even when a task seems impossible, the successful person knows that there is always a way.  The conventional wisdom that says we can't or shouldn't is oh so seductive because our conditioning creates this mindset.  If every man and woman lived this way we would still be living in caves.

We have to destroy the conventional wisdom and those stubborn preconceptions that are rooted firmly in our minds.   Belief in our own limitations will forever hinder us from breaking through to success.

Sugar pill coaching

Once upon a time I was involved in designing clinical trials to estimate the benefit or efficacy of various types of medical interventions.  One of the strategies we deployed, as well as one of the trickiest issues to deal with, was that of the placebo and the placebo effect. 

At the back of my mind I have started to reflect on the placebo (expectancy) aspects of business coaching.

When many people hear of placebo they recall tales of sugar pills, deception and "playing tricks with the mind."  This stigma is really misplaced and you will see that this well-researched effect, along with the Hawthorne and other expectancy effects, has surprising relevance to many human interactions.

Based on the Latin for "I shall please," placebo in medicine takes many forms and has indeed been offered as a sugar pill, a saline injection and distilled water.  We have also seen placebo surgery where patients are anesthetised, cut open and stitched up again to appear as if they have had surgical interventions - even when they haven't - and all with beneficial effect. How many times have you heard sceptics dismiss responses to complementary and alternative therapies as "merely" placebo effects?  They need to think again.  There are deeper forces at work.

However, whether in the past you have considered the effect a curiosity, a scientific annoyance or a miracle, its power is becoming much harder to deny.  Now you have certainly heard of this idea and you may well have thought that it only works because the person receiving it doesn't know it's really a placebo - but it actually works because of belief.

Science is showing that the placebo effect is not just all in the mind.  In fact both the mind and the physical body are affected. When you really think about it, patients affected by pain and debility, beyond seeking a lotion or potion, look to doctors and allied health professionals for the words, gestures and deeds that reinforce their belief in medicine's power and generate an expectation that we will benefit from an intervention.  In other words they generate and transfer belief.  See any subtle relevance to coaching yet?

Belief, attitude and expectation - perhaps we could label these as "hope" - can be firmly embedded and shaped by the encounter between a patient and the universe of care they receive.  A change in the mind-set or attitude of a patient alters their brain chemistry, which in turn has a catalytic effect on many other body systems.  Hope is the leverage that can start a cascade of physical effects making improvement much more likely.  Hope produces an effect that can, for example, block pain by releasing endorphins and enkephalins that in turn influence fundamental processes such as respiration, circulation, elimination and motor function. 

Research in treating depression suggests that the placebo effect might account for up to one third of the clinical benefit of modern antidepressants.  Some authors claim an even stronger improvement.  If you are a coach are you starting to wonder if one third of your effectiveness comes via a similar channel?  Do you see the effect you have on your client's state?

In clinical science we are posing a question these days:-

"If now we accept that placebo is real - how can we harness this power and really direct it in clinical situations to support our other strategies?"

As a business coach I pose you this question to reflect on:-

"If now we accept that placebo is real - how can we harness this power and really direct it in coaching situations to support our other strategies?"

Another way of asking this question is how do we generate powerful belief in a coaching relationship? The issues to deal with before getting down to work are face credibility and contractual expectations.  Get these right in order to stack expectations in your favour and then all(?) you have to do is deliver.

Face credibility
There is no doubt that the coachee will consciously interpret the background and experience of the coach. Who the coach has worked with before will count for something because it builds or destroys belief.  Testimonials build belief and are the basic currency of coach credibility.  You might say that what really counts is when you are face to face.  However, the contractual issues and clarity of expectations need to be right or life is going to be difficult from the moment you sit down together.

Contractual expectations
One of main distinctions often made in business coaching is between remedial coaching and performance coaching.  In either case, it is vital to make sure that a coaching assignment will really be at the coachee's behest.  Have you ever tried to change the behaviour of an adult, successful or not, that didn't want to change?  How successful were you?  Probably not very!

Some might argue that the techniques a coach might use are probably the same, so why bother to make the distinction between remedial and performance coaching? 

Whoever is paying the bill, it is absolutely vital that the coachee desires to work with a coach.  It's a question of belief and expectation and you already know that these things have real power.  If the frame of reference provided for coaching is "I need to be fixed" or "I am being punished and I can only see this as a kick before the eventual push out the door" the outcomes from the process are not likely to be measured using the descriptors of exceptional performance.  If the mindset of the coachee is firmly fixed on "I have a problem" probably the expectations for the coaching process are going to be limited.  It's the reason that placebo works well with conditions like pain or fatigue that are often non-specific. It's easier for an individual to build belief in these circumstances than with a broken limb or cancer.

To me, a lot of the power of successful coaching is not at all in the surface detail.  The magic is not about whether a coach asks the "right" question, listens intently or follows some particular process; although of course these things do have value.

With a coaching master, there is an awful lot of power in things that don't smack of technique and probably wouldn't even be grasped by a casual observer.  The coach always works with his or her own state, gets his or her ego out of the way and will aim to simply "be fully present", to fan the flames of brilliance in the coachee.   

In learning this attitude from Michael Breen I saw a parallel with the martial arts where mastery is in a space beyond conscious technique.

I do like to work with people who are already high performers and my intention and state will be "how I can have the biggest impact right now?" Whether we sit together for five minutes or fifty I must trust myself to really make a difference.  If I am the placebo the attitude and belief start with me.  Without that attitude the spark of real transformation is missing.  I suspect that more than a third of the benefit of coaching can come from the attitude and mindset of the coach.

Finding your center

Last week we talked about the importance of working from a state of balance.  When we are centred we are best equipped to respond to any challenge which threatens to unbalance us.

Now talk is cheap. To get a handle on what Im talking about - to experience your center - we need to do some work. 

First of all, when you have a quiet moment at home, lie comfortably with your back against the floor.  Notice any tension in your body and start to relax all your muscles.  If you successively scan your body from toe to head you will almost certainly find some tension.  As you pay attention to your breathing just allow your muscles to relax more and more with each breath.  Your body will find its own relaxed state as long as you don't try to hold yourself in any particular position.

Now place your right hand over your center or "one-point" a couple of finger widths below your navel.  Place your left hand over your right hand.  As you continue to relax and breathe, let your concentration fall  on that spot beneath your hands.  Imagine that all your focus, all your energy, is flowing from your forehead (where most of us seem to live), down from your chest (where we trap so much energy) and into this one point.  You may start to find this point getting warmer as you continue to relax, focus and breathe.

As you continue to breathe and focus on your center you will probably notice a further relaxation of your shoulders and chest.  Be aware that if you are tired you may well click over into sleep at this point - not to worry, you probably need it.  Just continue to focus on your center for ten to fifteen minutes.  If you practice just this each day for a month you will be well on the way to finding your center as a habit, and as a bonus you will be giving your heart muscle a real treat.

The next step is to begin finding and focusing on your center whilst seated or standing. The task is the same, its just that there are more distractions to deal with.

After a month or so, you can test your progress with the help of a partner.  Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and look at a point high up on a distant wall. Put all your attention on this point. Allow your partner to push against your chest in an attempt to unbalance you. He or she doesn't need to flatten you. It's just about allowing you to feel how stable you are.  Feel what its like?

Next put your attention on your centre, relax and ask your partner to push again.  Feel the difference?  With practice you can be immovable.

The real test of your developing skill, will come when you are tired, irritable, or even more critically when you are in conflict.  You see, fear in most people tends to influence where and how they focus.  Fear creates tension and disconnects us from the ability to think.  As simple as focusing on your center sounds, it is one of the natural ways to remain free of tension even in the face of severe challenge.

A question of balance

When the challenges of life come along, what state should we strive to be in to meet them?

I guess many of us would say a "balanced state" without really thinking too much about what that means or how to get there.

When you think about it, the concept of balance is part of our everyday consciousness.  We use the word liberally as part of our language.  A seriously ill person's life may "hang in the balance."  People talk of the need of "work-life balance."  Someone who is suprised by something talks of being "caught off-balance."  In front of the Old Bailey in London we can look up and see the symbol of fairness and justice - a set of balance scales.  So why is balance so important to humans?  Why should we care about the idea of reintegration, and being centred and balanced?

Very simply, being centred is the key to managing conflict and making effective decisions when under extreme pressure.  Just consider, how could we reach any decision about the nature of a particular challange and its appropriate response whilst we are off balance?

There is a very important principle we can make use of here.  Mind and body are linked. If you know how to be physically centred then your mind and spirit will come into balance as well.  Likewise if your body is off balance you can regain your equilibrium almost as easily by reaching a balanced mental state.

Simple as this seems it works.  The trick is to make "finding your centre" as natural as breathing; something that you do instinctively without thought.  This takes a bit of practice.

Martial artists have spent thousands of years studying the art of balance. Not just to increase their technical skills in the martial arts, but to ensure that they are in the right frame of mind - state - to meet life and any conflict in a relaxed but alert manner.  It is not possible to face an opponent in karate off-balance with success any more than it is possible to face a business challenge off-balance.

In the martial arts, your main balance point is located a couple of finger widths below your navel. This centre is where you should be living, whether you are under attack or just watching life flow past.  And you know what - this point is a junction of time and space - an organ which is more sensitive  to attack than the intellect can ever be.  If we learn to focus on this point (you have heard of gut instinct haven't you?) you would be better protected than if you hired a bodyguard.

Next week I talk through ways to develop your ability to centre yourself at will.

Success one step at a time

Most of our strong emotions arise from assuming the reality of something that is unreal - The Dalai Lama

Whenever you set out to achieve something that really matters to you, have you ever noticed that obstacles always seem to pop up to hold you back?  If you have noticed this effect then you can celebrate - because you are entirely normal.

Unfortunately some of us have maybe found that moving toward our goals was a bit like stepping on a garden rake in a Charlie Chaplin film.  You know - that one step forward that led to the rake handle sweeping up and hitting the hero in the face.

Is it any wonder that after a few forward steps like that, our subconscious wants to protect us from the experience?  Fundamentally, at least simplistically and at an unconscious level, life comes down to moving away from "pain" and toward "pleasure" - and  how we make up our deepest associations between events and these feelings.  In life it seems at times that we don't even need to step on the metaphorical rake to be punished - tell others our plans and they will do the job just as well.

But just think about this for a moment. 
Before you thought of something you wanted, did you have an obstacle to face?  The answer is no.  So where did the obstacle actually come from?  Well, it came from inside you because we actually identify our own obstacles.  The key to success is therefore what you choose do next.

Obstacles to achieving our goals are something we should welcome.  Rather than telling us that “you can’t have this!” obstacles are really telling us how we need to grow to get what we want.

Once we have the awareness that in every situation there is an opportunity as well as a obstacle we are free to use our creative potential.  This, when we call upon it and trust, can always gives us the power to find an answer to each challenge.  What many people lack here is belief - simple yet powerful.

The bigger the goal you have, the bigger the obstacles you will face.  So if you don’t want to have obstacles in your life then don’t try to achieve anything.  Hmm.. but you know that's not what you want because every cell in your body screams out that you have a purpose and - it is to create and excell in something.  So we do dream, we stretch, we aspire, we set goals.

A frequent difficulty for people is they know they need to set goals, they may even know how to set goals, but they can’t get themselves to actually do what’s necessary on a consistent basis.  They can’t seem to get the energy and the drive to move themselves forward. It's no wonder if every step is associated with "pain" and difficulty. 

They start off with great intentions but quickly fall back into their old ways.  Isn't it funny how the pain right now seems much more powerful a driver than the prospect of pleasure in the future.  So we procrastinate; we tell ourselves that things will be better tomorrow - so we wait and wait - and wait.

I frequently meet people who have ready every book on goal setting since the Bible and they still seem to have difficulties.  The trip for everyone is to look at the associations they have made for what is pleasure and pain - and what unconscious strategies are they using to motivate themselves or overcome hesitation.  These things really can be changed.

It can help to think of our passage through life as a “path” that stretches way back into our past and forward into our future.  As I close my eyes and think of the passage of my life I can visualise a line that moves from this moment in time – which I feel is straight in front of me – to the left which takes me into the past.  As I mentally move along that line I can relive again the major events of my life and reactivate the feelings that go with them.  But the line also stretches in my imagination to the right and into the future.  As I move along the line in my imagination I can visualise – and more – even create - my future history.  My feeling is always that what I put out there in the future is very much my path.

The line that links “Now” with the “Goal” is what we might call a direction.  It is straight as an arrow.  Unfortunately our path to achieve a goal is never actually quite like that straight line.  There is always deviation as we move in the direction of the goal.  Life just seems to be that way doesn’t it? 

For example, if we were travelling from London to New York by plane we would not fly in an exact straight line.  The pilot would have critical waypoints to reach along the way but from moment to moment the plane would not be exactly on a direct course.  Navigational systems and pilot intervention allow a planes course to be constantly corrected.

A bit like the watch that is stopped, the plane might be exactly on course just a couple of times that day but the direction is nevertheless good and with corrections along the route the destination is eventually reached safely.

If we think of reaching our goals, the simple example above is a good model to keep in mind.  What we learn from this model is as follows:-

• Make it a useful destination - for goodness sake why choose one that doesn't feel good?
• We need to acknowledge where we are right now.  This is the importance of self-awareness.  Every journey has a beginning and an end so lets not delude ourselves but be clear not just about the goal but about where we begin this journey.
• We need a goal in mind otherwise any direction and any result will have to do.
• Don’t expect to follow a straight line – we will need to navigate around some obstacles
• We need to be aware enough to notice when we are deviating too much from the correct direction.  We need some essential navigation equipment to keep us on track.
• We need to keep going for long enough to reach our destination; the quality of persistence is our fuel to keep us going on this journey.

In his book, "A passion for success," Kazuo Inamori reminds us that

"without effort, a great vision will remain just an unfulfilled dream. No worthwhile goal has ever been attained without strenuous meaningful labor"

When you find meaningful goals and simply learn to enjoy the journey and all its detours then all the pain of the effort falls away and its replaced with the pleasure of being on purpose.